Please read our Rules and continue to report content that violates our rules on underage content.
main image
UploaderChaosWolf,
TagsDungeons_and_Dragons, Dwarf, Malcolm_Douglas
Source Link
LockedYes (Only admins may edit these details)
Info763x765 // 162KB // jpg
- Reply
ChaosWolf: Oh yeah...
Oh, my, god. Lidda, look at her butt.
It is so big. *scoff* She looks like,
one of those dwarf guys' girlfriends.
But, you know, who understands those dwarves? *scoff*
They only talk to her, because,
she looks like a total mountain-girl, 'kay?
I mean, her butt, is just so big.
I can't believe it's just so round, it's like,
out there, I mean - gross. Look!
She's just so ... damn!

[Sir Mine-a-Lot]
I like big butts and I can not lie
My mountain-brothers can't deny
That when a dwarf walks in with a nice n' curvy waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the tunic she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get with you
And chisel your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that butt you got makes me so horny
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get on my ram?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupie
I've seen them dancin'
To hell with romancin'
She's sweat, wet,
Got it roarin' like a big bulette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' elf butts are the thing
Take the average dwarf man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back!

(nice round face with mountain booty)
Baby got back!

[Sir Mine-a-Lot]
I like 'em round, and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' elfy night-toys
'Cause them long-ear types all look like boys
I want 'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mine-a-Lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
I'd rather look at rock-diggin' holes
Instead a' long-eared elfgirls actin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep the women built like stones
A word to the hammerin' sisters, I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna *f##k*
Till the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of gnomes won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
So, ladies! {Yeah!} Ladies! {Yeah}
If you wanna be my golden baby {Yeah!}
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even halflings got to shout
Baby got back!

Baby got back!
Yeah, baby ... when it comes to females, Tolkien ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection. 42-34-36? Ha ha, only if she's 4'3".

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
So your girlfriend's Daughter of the Elf King, long ears like a rabbit thing.
But my girl ain't gonna blow away in breezes like a tiny bit of string.
My dwarven cannon don't want none
Unless you've got buns, hun
You can do side bends or sit-ups,
But please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role
And tell you the babe ain't pure gold (yeah, gold!)
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Tolkien says "hairy & fat"?
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your chin is bare and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'.
And them ranger dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a dwarven sister, I can't resist her
That mountain food didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause his girls are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em
So ladies, if the butt is round,
And you want a triple X throw down,
Dial 1-900-MINEALOT
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back!
- Reply
An_Onymous: ^win
- Reply
Tintin: Nerd rap. Oh god.
- Reply
ChaosWolf: Dwarves are just that damn awesome.
- Reply
Anonymous1: The gnome version goes, "I like large postierers and I cannot prevaricate."
- Reply
Carvin: Much win!
- Reply
ChaosWolf: Crotchbeard FTW.
- Reply
Anonymous2: Drawves are awesome!
- Reply
Anonymous3: ChaodWolf wins all the internets past, present or future.
- Reply
Anonymous4: Jesus, effort.
- Reply
Anonymous5: Goddamn this guy draws faces so fucking horrible. They look like dwarves alright... but more like humans with some sort of debilitating, crippling, bone-twisting dwarfism.
- Reply
ChaosWolf: oh, you're just jealous.
- Reply
Anonymous6: To Anon4: That really doesn't make any sense.

Most issustrations of dwarves show them as having basically 'scrunched' features, so it makes sense that they would have shortened, rounded faces and bodies, i.e., look like a DWARF (and yet not resemble true life dwarfism with the disproportionate limbs and all).

Now, I have no idea how 4th edition portrays them, having stayed away from it like the plague ^_^
- Reply
Anonymous7: I'm just jealous of fat, lumpy women with the faces of ninety-year-olds?
- Reply
Anonymous8: Chaos Wolf? You win every internet ever for that song. XD
- Reply
Anonymous9: They need a little bit of hair on their chin, y'know, for grabbing onto, but other than that, nice.
- Reply
Anonymous10: Welcome to the Lower Beard, the dwarf-only tavern/brothel. Double bearded ladies available upon request.
- Reply
Anonymous11: took me 20 minutes to scroll past that stupid NOVEL some lame person put WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too many brain cells into
now i forgot who i was gonna insult...


Report an ad?