Jeb: Captain Falcon really is my hero. He is a character that suits me perfectly, he is so ridiculously over the top it's not even funny. Here's a brief description of a new game intro he SHOULD have:
The camera shows Captain Falcon many miles above the stage, falling at a rapid speed, while playing a flaming guitar with his teeth. He gets bored and throws the guitar at a nearby mountain, causing the mountain to explode. Only instead of debris, pornography comes flying out of the explosion, which Captain Falcon looks at while eating raw meat, drinking beer, and flexing his biceps.
He gets bored with the pornography, so he destroys it all with his chest hair, which he can grow at will. He finishes his raw meat and beer, so he eats the beer glass, like a real man. He still has quite a long way to go before he crashes into the stage, so he starts striking manly poses, while shooting bullets out of his iron nipples. These bullets explode upon impact with the ground, launching a flaming truck into the air, straight towards Captain Falcon, who slices it in half before it can reach him with the force created by him flexing his pecks.
As he passes the gas tank, which became detached, he falcon punches it causing it to explode with the force of a nuclear warhead. This propels Captain Falcon towards the stage at an incredible speed.
Captain Falcon crashes into the stage with a pelvic thrust, done at near the speed of light. He climbs out of the crater he created, and flexes every muscle in his body at the same time. The incredible force created by this kills everyone within a 500 mile radius, and every female in the universe climaxes.
"Captain falcon! I'm pregnant!"
"FALCON PUUNCH!!"
And problem solved.
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win win
WTF HAX!!11!!!1
The camera shows Captain Falcon many miles above the stage, falling at a rapid speed, while playing a flaming guitar with his teeth. He gets bored and throws the guitar at a nearby mountain, causing the mountain to explode. Only instead of debris, pornography comes flying out of the explosion, which Captain Falcon looks at while eating raw meat, drinking beer, and flexing his biceps.
He gets bored with the pornography, so he destroys it all with his chest hair, which he can grow at will. He finishes his raw meat and beer, so he eats the beer glass, like a real man. He still has quite a long way to go before he crashes into the stage, so he starts striking manly poses, while shooting bullets out of his iron nipples. These bullets explode upon impact with the ground, launching a flaming truck into the air, straight towards Captain Falcon, who slices it in half before it can reach him with the force created by him flexing his pecks.
As he passes the gas tank, which became detached, he falcon punches it causing it to explode with the force of a nuclear warhead. This propels Captain Falcon towards the stage at an incredible speed.
Captain Falcon crashes into the stage with a pelvic thrust, done at near the speed of light. He climbs out of the crater he created, and flexes every muscle in his body at the same time. The incredible force created by this kills everyone within a 500 mile radius, and every female in the universe climaxes.
I think you made me a bit gay for him as well. ;)
By the way, because it needs to be posted now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFtw7qW7Vcw
TRU FAX
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I remember that from the Brawl Boards on GameFAQs ;o;