Anonymous1: DarkMike: Thought of this for the LOLS:
"Wow! Samus totally digs my cock! Hey Dad, do you like getting fucked by girls?"
"Yes. But I'm not joining."
"I LOOOVVVEEE Girls! Hey Dad, Remember the time I fucked GOD?"
Idea inspired from Super Smash Bros. Murder - Only on Newgrounds. It's an original classic!
Jeb: You're complaining about Falcon's Final Smash?
Jesus Christ, are you a fucking idiot? It's just as...no, MORE superior than his Falcon Punch.
He's not just punching you. No, that'd be too nice of a fate for you. No, he gets into his car, RUNS YOU THE FUCK OVER, and leaves you in the middle of the fucking street. You're bruised, bones broken, bleeding. You hear him speed off, and whimper as you lay there on the asphalt in immense pain. Time goes by, and as you try to move you hear the sound of an engine over the horizon. Joy fills your heart as you think it's a kind samaritan, come to your aid. You struggle to your feet to flag the driver down, but your joy soon turns to utter. Fucking. Terror. For as the roar of the engine rises over the hill, that glint of blue fills your vision.
It's Captain Fucking Falcon.
And he's heading right fucking for you.
You quickly try to hobble out of his path, but he's too quick, his car swerving to stay in line with you. As he draws nearer and nearer, you hear his maniacal laughter, further driving that spike of sheer absolute fear into your heart. Right before the moment of impact, you hear him yell out, "SHOW ME YA MOVES!"
AND THEN HE FUCKING RUNS YOU OVER. AGAIN. JESUS FUCK.
No, it's not enough that you get run over once. He does it TWICE. To make SURE that you're dead. Now you're on the brink of death, Captain Falcon is laughing into the breeze as he speeds away back to the battle, as you lay there in a gory pile of split flesh, and shattered bones, tire tracks left over your body. Yes. Tire tracks.
CAPTAIN FALCON IS SO FUCKING BADASS THAT WHEN HE RUNS YOU OVER, HE LEAVES GODDAMN TIRE TREADS EVEN THOUGH HIS FUCKING CAR HAS NO. FUCKING. TIRES.
Anonymous6: he's so bad ass that when he fucks samus, she gets tire tracks on her, and they are nowhere near a friggiing car, let alone one with wheels...
Anonymous16: @Anonymous: tbf our modern humor isn't much better. I'd rather be able to laugh at this shit than laughing about some kind of unfunny pickle in a bun with loud ass earrape music over it but alas, things cannot stay the same.
"Wow! Samus totally digs my cock! Hey Dad, do you like getting fucked by girls?"
"Yes. But I'm not joining."
"I LOOOVVVEEE Girls! Hey Dad, Remember the time I fucked GOD?"
Idea inspired from Super Smash Bros. Murder - Only on Newgrounds. It's an original classic!
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Jesus Christ, are you a fucking idiot? It's just as...no, MORE superior than his Falcon Punch.
He's not just punching you. No, that'd be too nice of a fate for you. No, he gets into his car, RUNS YOU THE FUCK OVER, and leaves you in the middle of the fucking street. You're bruised, bones broken, bleeding. You hear him speed off, and whimper as you lay there on the asphalt in immense pain. Time goes by, and as you try to move you hear the sound of an engine over the horizon. Joy fills your heart as you think it's a kind samaritan, come to your aid. You struggle to your feet to flag the driver down, but your joy soon turns to utter. Fucking. Terror. For as the roar of the engine rises over the hill, that glint of blue fills your vision.
It's Captain Fucking Falcon.
And he's heading right fucking for you.
You quickly try to hobble out of his path, but he's too quick, his car swerving to stay in line with you. As he draws nearer and nearer, you hear his maniacal laughter, further driving that spike of sheer absolute fear into your heart. Right before the moment of impact, you hear him yell out, "SHOW ME YA MOVES!"
AND THEN HE FUCKING RUNS YOU OVER. AGAIN. JESUS FUCK.
No, it's not enough that you get run over once. He does it TWICE. To make SURE that you're dead. Now you're on the brink of death, Captain Falcon is laughing into the breeze as he speeds away back to the battle, as you lay there in a gory pile of split flesh, and shattered bones, tire tracks left over your body. Yes. Tire tracks.
CAPTAIN FALCON IS SO FUCKING BADASS THAT WHEN HE RUNS YOU OVER, HE LEAVES GODDAMN TIRE TREADS EVEN THOUGH HIS FUCKING CAR HAS NO. FUCKING. TIRES.
FUCK.
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ALSO SUPEEEEEEEEEEEEEER FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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